


Fuck

by Sober_Gamzee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Because Cronus is hot, Don't Judge, I Don't Even Know, Kankri's brain is dead, strip club, this was literally a two am fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5637223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sober_Gamzee/pseuds/Sober_Gamzee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kankri is convinced to go to a strip club and Cronus is a very attractive dancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahaha I don't even know what this is.   
> The song Cronus dances to is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fNsHZ41tLM  
> The original version of that song is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwB-2-YQEy4  
> And this is the animation that gave me this idea in the first place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqj6PykWlww

_Why did I agree to this. Why, oh why, did I agree to this. This was a very, very bad idea._

Kankri fiddled anxiously with the sleeves of his sweater and tried to make himself as small as possible as he followed his friends into the strip club. The _gay_ strip club, to be precise. He had given in to the peer pressure from his friends. Even Kurloz and Meulin had pestered relentlessly that this was “the perfect way to get that stick out of his ass.”

Kankri had informed them stiffly that there was _nothing_ in his anal cavity, thank you very much, and had agreed to go just to get them all to _shut up_ about it. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the worst idea he had ever had in his life, _including_ giving “the talk” to his violent-tempered cousin. That had not ended well.

The inside of the building was crowded and lit with dim colored lights. It smelled like alcohol and vomit and sweat and other things Kankri really didn’t want to identify. There were too many people and it was too loud and Kankri could feel himself nearing the start of an anxiety attack. Damn social anxiety. Unfortunately, his friends didn’t know how to take a hint and he was more often than not forced into extremely uncomfortable situations like that one.

There was a circular stage against the back wall, with a pole in the center. Kankri gulped as they headed toward it, sitting _right in front._ Kankri pulled nervously at the neck of his sweater; it suddenly felt like there were more people than his friends watching him and laughing.

He sat down and the feeling of being watched got a little better, surrounded by all his friends—people he knew and trusted, to an extent. Rufioh and Horuss were too busy flirting to really pay any attention to anyone else, and Kurloz was only there as support to Kankri. He appreciated that, though; he had at least offered to come with him instead of leaving him to his own devices the entire time. Kankri flashed the mute a grateful smile, but the lights dimmed before he could say anything.

A spotlight clicked on and focused on the stage. Someone in a tuxedo and a plain white masquerade mask walked out onto it, heels clicking on the wood. “Gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s show. Please sit back and enjoy. The dancers that are available for private sessions will be brought out all at once after the performances have finished. Please save applause, wolf-whistles, and requests for children until the end. Thank you and enjoy the night.”

The man’s dry humor made Kankri smile a little, despite how lewd and probably offensive it was.

Several dancers came up and spent their three minutes of fame dancing around the pole, each wearing less clothing and each with an increasingly sexual song in the background. Kankri had to give them a little credit, though; being that flexible had to be the work of a lot of practice.

He was starting to calm down a little more when the man in the mask from before came out again. He was as emotionless as ever and seemed to be the only one in the room other than Kankri and Kurloz who was completely unaffected by the dancer’s antics.

“We have one last performance tonight and then you can get to the “real fun.” Please stay calm and control your erections for a few more minutes.”

Kankri smiled again, his breath catching in his throat as it fell from his face seconds later. The next dancer, a man, came out from the backstage area fully clothed but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t breathtaking, literally or figuratively. The man’s face reminded Kankri of ancient statues, aloof and beautiful and seemingly impossible. His hair curled over his forehead and a couple locks dropped into his eyes, bouncing as he walked. Everything about him screamed _confident_ and _arrogant_ and _sexy as fuck._

The man pulled his shirt over his head in one smooth motion and tossed it to the side, an almost delicate blush decorating his high cheekbones and a seductive smile taking its place on his face. The music started and Kankri didn’t recognize the song but _oh dear lord that man was toned._ He had just enough muscle to show and they fucking _rippled_ when he moved. It was doing strange things to Kankri’s head.

The man danced and Kankri really couldn’t focus on anything but _those pant are very tight_ and _he is very well endowed._ His cheeks went bright red as he realized about halfway through the song that he had a very noticeable erection and there was no way to get rid of it without tearing his eyes from the dancer in front of him.

Several times, they made eye contact and that man _winked_ and sent Kankri’s head spinning. It was also very hard to concentrate when there was a lot of legs and a lot of ass in his face.

When it ended, Kankri was the approximate color of a tomato and extremely embarrassed. The performer was flushed and sweaty but that only made him look better and _fuck._

By that point, all three of Kankri’s friends had turned to look at him and grinned. He suddenly found the table extremely interesting, at least until Rufioh slid a hundred dollar bill in front of his face.

When Kankri looked up, confused, Rufioh nodded toward the stage. The dancers that were “available for private sessions” were lined up and the man was up there, staring right at Kankri.

Kankri swallowed heavily, throat dry, and reluctantly took the money.

_Fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> Yeeeeeeeeeeah that happened.


End file.
